Goodbyes aren't that all bad

Hey there guys. It is a great possibility that I'll lead to deserting this blog. There had been too much things that  disturbed my blogging process in the two years of this page's existence. I guess it's time that I move on and start anew.

I've created a new blog. I know it'll help a lot, I won't say how, just that, it will. If ever you're bored with Fragments of Her Memories or you're in need of a different atmosphere to wander through in my life, just visit me there. You'll get the picture.^^~

Simplicity in its Ultimate Sophistication

thunderstorms in my head

I had another sad day. I seem to be dealing with everything in the wrong way. It's like I have to go through the rough bend in the road while a great thunderstorm is heading out my direction. I tend to ignore it so that I could hurry on and accomplish a deed. But in the end I become that stupid and laughable girl. Instead of being able to help out or do the work effectively, I become stranded in a frightening thunderstorm that I had ignored. I touched a nerve on the person I wanted to help, and instead of receiving a genuine smile of gratitude I become the idea of a joke and the next second people get angry at me immediately.
I don't know how much help I can be to my friends this coming days. My ways of speech aren't as effective as they were before. I realized that I pay attention to the problems of people without minding the current storm that's raging inside me. I'm probably desperate to escape this karma that I unconsciously divert to another's dilemma.
I'm so stupid. I need to reflect. I need to fix my own predicaments before involving myself in others. I guess there's really no other choice but to wait until the storm comes to a calming stop. Then can I begin to tread past the muddy remains of a once disturbing weather.

The Private Music

Hey dear bloggers. I guess it's about time to bring up a small intro to my comeback, yeah? I can't say that I will completely be back, nor will I say that I've totally given up on the whole blogging thing. My life has just been a ridiculous blur that I can't seem to start up on anything reasonable for a worthy entry. So I guess I'll begin with little bits and pieces of what's happened in the last 9 months.

Trust me, nothing absolutely good has happened in this 17th year of my life. I have been thrown into a cavernous pit of emotionally disturbing events that have completely altered my views of the word trust, of a friend, a relationship, my future, my life, and myself even. I have experienced perfidious happiness and despairing melancholy all in the same year. I have fallen too far. Everything was a dramatic play of deception. I had lost all hope. There were few to no people who had helped me in the most dismal of times. But I am standing now, not quite, but with the help of my other self to whom I lean upon.

In those months of troubling despair I have lost all trust in everyone even with myself. But as bad karma comes I believed that there would still be a little hope, a little light, a chance for me to stand up and make a faint trail of a better future.

I don't think amending for my sins or building up a new way of life can be sufficed by telling the tale of the mystery behind my absence. Rather, I would like to start anew. Where voices can be hushed and only my words can resonate through the void of an unpredictable future, I can produce newer and softer music. I have grown stronger because of all the challenges I've faced. I have grown to be wiser and more mature in dealing with problems. I can't fail myself anymore. I don't want to make any more mistakes that can put me to so much suffering; that can put my family and friends into so much disappointment and worry over me.

I want to grow up. I want to change. I want to prove myself that I'm not like what people say about me. I want to live up to a better persona that I create for my name. I'm determined to face any more of what awaits me. This time I can believe in myself more, all I need is another chance. A chance to live on, a chance to move on. Maybe this time, I can be who I want to be. And maybe, just maybe, I can play a more private music of a new start.

Reality check...

I've been a bit lax in dealing with anything cyber lately. Well let's face it, the internet could get more and more boring in each passing day, that which resulted to my near-two months absence in the blogging world. I've had a lot of new tidings as of late. My mood has gotten better and my motivation for everyday living is now at a high rate. These has put me into a state of looking forward to more happy 2010 days of my life!^^

There are only a few updates despite the alteration of my mood. I have now taken into redoing tons of stuffs from my past such as reading my old fiction books, reading my old W.I.T.C.H. magazines, listening to old songs (I practically bring along my iPod now!), playing The Sims 2, using my old bags, using my old phone, and using my then-brand of pen! "Recycling Repetitive Redundancies" as we, my friends and I, call it. (*wink) I have also gone back to my past hobby of taking pictures! Though I only started, like, a few weeks ago. Watch out for photos! If I have time to blog that is.

Pst! My mom sold my cherry-red notebook PC to my aunt. It's sad I know, I really miss its small size and its comfortable texture. My mom said that we already have two laptops and two desktop PCs that it would be irrational to own one more. She then replaced it with something more portable, like a mini-mini-PC! Luckily its a product of Apple so I could easily maneuver my way through its labyrinthine features. Can you guess what it is?

Yup! It's my new iPod Touch 32GB! It's really handy and cool! It's a bit foreign to me so I'm still getting the hang of it. I'm trying to figure out a way to "jailbreak" it so that I can add newer apps such as a dictionary and games! For now I'll stick with the wonderful volume and beat of the songs its Music app can surely offer to its owners.^^,)
On another side of my now improving life I have seen newer "features" of my being in college and the freedom(!) it provides. Examples would be a few very exciting February days ahead! Just three Sundays ago, that's the 7th, the university hosted a Pre-Valentine Disco affair to all P.E. 102 and 104 students. "Heartbeat: A Circulation of Friendship and Affection". It was a really fun occasion! I didn't dance though, I'm really not into fad dances. Instead, my classmates and I took a lot of photos while on stage. Yes, we horded the stage and used some of its decorations as props for our "pictorial sessions". Sadly, I didn't bring my camera along so I didn't get to take pictures of the event. Thankfully my classmates provided the snapshots that served as a memory of our college life. Maybe next time I'll post photos of my improving life.

 

Fooling around. I was forced to. Swear.

  

I really shouldn't have closed my eyes...

  

Ugh! This is embarrassing! Don't look! Please! :(

  

I like this photo of myself!^^

  

 Yours truly ;)

There is a supplementary leisure that I am getting addicted to right now. By addicted I mean getting better at it. DotA! As always. This game that is always an object of breakups amongst teenage lovers has become a sort of "together time" for my boyfiee and I. We take pleasure in sharing battle strategies of different heroes. Like I said in my previous post, if you can't beat them, join them! Right now, my most favorite heroes are Slardar the Slithereen Guard, Raigor Stonehoof the Earthshaker, and King Leoric the Skeleton King. I'm getting hooked up to strength types and melees! Hoho! My classmates and I take every opportunity and free time just to play this game and even though my family thinks of this as a bad habit, it doesn't really affect my lifestyle nor my studies. For me, it's the pillar to strengthening my bonds with people. Not only is it fun, it also helps me in building up great logic-imbued strategies that I might need in future. No idea how that helps but, what the hell.

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

  

  

  

  

 

More to the fact that I'm actually enjoying this newer side of college life is the idea that the end of the school year is nearing! To add, I've got a lot more parties and occasions to attend to, which means dresses, etiquette, food, SHOES, and social ballroom dancing! I am FREE!!! All these I can savor till I pass all my finals exams. That, too, is fast approaching and I have to start studying, pronto!

Life goes on too fast. At the moment I thought I was just feeling the first traces of freshman college hell, then it all comes to an end. I can't even imagine what I'll do when March comes. I guess I'll start thinking of appropriate ways to spend my boring summer days. I desperately have to polish my writing and vocabulary skills. Maybe then I could spend more time in front of the screen, which is homepaged to Blogger, saving bits and pieces of my life. Maybe... I have to oblige myself to do so. College just takes up a lot of my time that I don't see it as a recreational zone anymore. Maybe...just maybe... For now, I'll save a small promise that I'll update as soon as my finals exams are over including, of course, my first year in college!

Ciao!~*

A hopeful start...

Outside, it's already noising with test-firecrackers and clanging metals. My ears are ringing along with the joyous noise my neighbors are making. It is already two hours till the light of 2010 and I'm still sitting in front of the monitor waiting for the next Naruto manga chapter to be released. I know I should be excited and all, but I guess I just grew out of it. I'm asthmatic, so let's use that excuse for now, okay?

So 2009 is coming to an end and so will the nightmarish experiences I had along with it. I shall start another page for this enduring blog and hopefully, hopefully, 2010 will be a better portal for blog inputs to be published than 2009. I will continue on pursing the resolutions I made this year, wishing that I may be able to do better on the coming year. I wish all of my readers, anonymous stalkers, followers, and fellow bloggers a prosperous new year! Fire up the skyrockets!^^

Banalities

It's amazing how only a few months to a year can change us all. Though we are separated and busy all the time, our hearts call to each other and bring us to the place where we congregate as one. I love my Mateos. I love my alma mater. This is family: Never forgetting the ground we once stood together, knowing fully well that we will do so again.

My first Christmas blog gift! Thank you so much Nice!^^,)